DRUNK.

Why do you walk like the floor is moving? Why are your emotions permanently set to turbo? Why is everything you see in double vision? Because what flows through your veins isn't blood -- it's premium baijiu! It's top-shelf liquor! It's bargain booze! It's every bottle ever made! Oh, glorious alcohol, every drop burning, every drop boiling. Have you already gotten into the habit of pouring hard liquor into a thermos and chugging it like water? What magnificent booze! It makes you the life of every dinner table and then makes you hug the toilet confessing your life sins afterward. It makes you believe you're the poet of the night, the inextinguishable flame at the center of the universe -- until 10 AM the next morning, when your head feels like a cracked walnut, food residue crusted at the corner of your mouth, your soul cowering in a corner. You finally understand: that loudmouth who was pontificating and slamming tables last night has officially become a drunkard.